SAHazelnut

Life is a one way street There's no turning back Time is a jet It flies by Living is a privilege Not a right Fait is a roll coaster It has its ups and down Friendships are gifts If well looked after they last Family are your back bone Always your love and support Mistakes are our teacher We learn from them Love is a jewel It should be treasured

I breathe in and drew back on the crisp night air. I feel its cool touch moving down my throat. But that seemed  to have little effect in putting the nerves to rest. I repeated this over a few times, before I was able to move.  Finally I manage to pull my weight from the comfort of my car, with the guitar in my hand, also leaving the car door open for a quick escape. Gentle I began placing each foot on the hard surface of the road and taking each step with the all most secrecy.  But the slapping of my thongs on the back of my heels was breaking all silence in the street and my mind began to race as I was approaching the house. Running on pa

I'm just so lost, I'm just so confused I don't have a place, I don't belong here I just want to run away I just want to find myself Put an end to this lack of understanding Put an end to this confusion To think I had everything down pat To think I had everything worked out I don't know my sexuality All I know is I'm not straight I don't hate living, I just can't live with myself I just laugh off my stupidity and self hate But deep down I know I'm unhappy Finding a career with quilities of helping people Doesn't fit into my lifestyle because of societys appoveral See my true colours of my selfishness And it leaves me indecive

You look at yourself in the mirror Ignore peoples complments Ignoing their honestly But aware that you're under weight You're bones are almost visable through the skin Starving yourself, unhappy with your self image I fear the day when obsession turns to disease I fear you'll wake up when it's too late You complain that you're weak And you want to be stronger But the lifestyle that you lead Rejects your wishes Please hear me out You are more then beautiful The way you are Hospital bound and dying Isn't what you want

You think up another excuse I know it's just a lie I consume these words Only to become the fuel to my anger Just tell the truth Just say you hate me Just say what's on your mind What you're holding back is killing me I'm sick of this I'm sick of competing I'm sick of fighting And feeling used We didn't get this far Just to hate one and other Isn't funny what love can do Pull us farther apart

I just want to cry in your arms Feel the warmth I request Protect me from this world The world filled with loneliness Let me tell you my biggest fear I'll trust you to keep it to yourself Embrace me, hold me near Make me feel better about myself I look into your eyes As you look into mine I loose myself in the beautiful soul That's lies behind This Absence in my life This is for you Leaving three words on my mind That I will never tell Are I love you

Go on, use me to get to someone else Then push me away, block me out Abuse my trust and tell Everyone else How stupid do you think I am? Take the one thing away from me The one thing that understands Now it's like you don't even know me anymore You don't even want to You don't even try to I'll sit and wait for the day That you'll come crawling back to me Then I'll forgive and forget As the loyal and trustworthy person I am. Until this cycal starts again